9. How Do You Fly the Highest?

The stoner was rolling a joint when a pothead exclaimed, “I’m sick of you telling us what to do! If you’re such an expert, I challenge you: Let’s see who can get the highest by this time next week.”

The stoner accepted. They would meet in one week, and whoever was higher would win. The loser would have to leave town and never return.

So the pothead baked brownies while taking bong rips. He burned blunt after blunt. He bought an expensive vaporizer and kept it running all week.

Meanwhile, the stoner did nothing.

His friends said, “What are you doing? The pothead has almost smoked the town dry. You have to hurry!”

But the stoner just laughed.

When the hour was almost at hand, the stoner and the pothead met to see who was higher. The pothead’s eyes were red. He was confused and could barely walk, and he exclaimed, “I have you beat!”

The stoner pulled out the joint he had rolled the week before.

He lit it and took a single puff.

Everyone stared at the stoner as he grew more stoned than ever before. He flew higher than he had ever flown. He smiled a smile so obviously baked that everyone knew he was the winner. For the 9th Rule of Thumb states, To get the highest, take a break.

And the pothead, knowing he had lost, turned to leave town forever, but the stoner stopped him, held out the joint, and asked, “Do you want a hit of this?”